Audrey and I were at the vet’s yesterday for her quarterly check-up.
The vet – who was a very pretty female locum we had encountered only once before – had me stumbling to find my words and breaking out in a cold sweat. She was that beautiful.
‘Audrey is doing very well as always, Mr Lawrence,’ she told me. ‘I’ll just go and get you some more insulin from the fridge for her.’
‘I think I love that vet,’ I informed my little dog, who was panting heavily because of the humid weather. ‘Are you hot, girl? We’ll soon be home and you can have a nice cold drink of water. A lovely big drink.’
The vet returned presently with our prescription. ‘Here you are,’ she said, handing me the cold little bottle.
‘Drink,’ I said.
‘Pardon?’
‘ – ‘
‘Did you just say “drink”?’
‘I – ‘
She was smiling and blushing slightly. Freckles had risen on her neck. ‘Did you just ask me out for a drink?’
I was reminded of the time last year when I said ‘monkey’ to that woman in the park.
‘No.’ I told her. My negative reply sounded like a question, its tone went up at the end. ‘No,’ I said again.
I am an idiot. She might have said yes.
I could blame my hairy little companion for constantly placing me in situations where pretty women are present; but I won’t. Not simply because I should be thanking her for such things (and also because I love her with the radiant nuclear fury of the sun), but because it was my fault entirely, for being stupid and awkward, and for walking around with a permanent erection like an adenoidal fifteen year-old.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
alright, first comment the new place: priaprism. there I said it.
Audrey is diabetic?
Priaprism indeed. I had to look that up. I’m not that bad, though!
Audrey, yes. Although she is super-fit and perfectly healthy, she does have this condition that has to be very carefully managed.
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